December 12, 2012

12-12-(20)12

No, it is not a post on 12-12-12. Everyone on the internet was talking, tweeting, posting about this special date. And yeah not to forget they added the time as well -> 12-12-12 at 12:12:12 (-_-)
But no, I wanted to post on my current situation. As I have mentioned it before, I graduated this August 2012 for TMA. And since then I was applying for jobs. I also mentioned that I was doing this course at Schiphol with the proposal of getting a job at Schiphol in the customs department. However, I have been on job interviews, but was declined because they preferred someone with more experience. Especially right now, with the economic not on its best point.

I am almost finishing my customs course at Schiphol and in the meantime I have a part-time job at a clothing store. It is not what I had imagined. But hey, we all have fixed costs and I refused my parents financial aid, because I have this urge of proving my independence to my parents. Like most students, at the age of 18 we are officially an adult, meaning paying for your own insurances and what not. I did not mind, as this independence gave me freedom in what I want to do. Before, I felt guilty in my actions, and I was always cautious not to give my parents trouble. You can say that at the age of 18 I have become rebellious :P
And besides, I have never gained retail experiences, so all this part-time job is also beneficial for my working experience. They say the more variaty on working experiences, the better on your CV and you as a person.

Anyways back to where I was, in order for me to have an income, part-time jobs (where not much experience was demanded) was the solution. I had to have an income, my savings were getting depleted and I missed money :P Because nowadays everything costs money. So I just pulled myself out of my depression of being declined one after the other and said: Just take whatever you can! And before I knew it, the day before my Bday I was called for an interview and got the job. Amazing huh, what self-motivation can bring you to.

I am not satisfied with my current situation, but not disappointed either.
What my plan is as a graduate:
- To specialize myzelf with the courses Schiphol offers. Once this course is finished, I can go for another specialization course.
- Keep on applying for fulltime, serious jobs.
- And meantime I earn my income working in this clothes shop.

It is not a post with a happy ending, but I hope to post the next story with better news! Just remember that this road called life will always has its bumps. You just have to be positive, gather your motivation back, put a bright smile and make the best out of that bad situation. I will not say that life is too short, so live it to the fullest, but I do can say: If you have the positive mindset, you will shine bright like star and affect others around you. With this you can spread and motivate others with that positive energy and get the best out of them. The world suddenly will seem different and before you know it, EVERY morning, whether the alarm goes off at 5AM or 10AM, there will be a smile on your face! A good start of the day  \(^_^)/

December 8, 2012

Leaving your loved one behind..

There is a place I used to know, there is a place I need to find. And I needed to be there in time. It was time to leave to for Malaysia on the 8th of February 2012.  Even though we have only been together for about a year, he asked my father for my hand on my "goodbye party" four days before I left. But the prospect of being apart for 5 months makes things harder then they supposed to be. A million things to worry about...

"You occupy my mind every day and night, I think of things to say to you, what we should do to keep this alive. Fears and frustrations galore. Feeding on high expectations and happy endings were we high above the ground? or was it just me? Like lullabies you are forever in my mind, I'm seeing you in all the pieces of my life. I wanted to go away with you and I will leave all my worries here. Will you still catch me when I fall, accept me flaws and all?"

There isn't much you can do when your tickets are booked, the school application is confirmed and everything is arranged. Leaving was bittersweet, because going on exchange to Malaysia was actually the main reason why I chose to study IM at the HES. Exchange was the thing I was looking forward to for 3 years, and now this thing called love, flipped my mind around. To the point even that I didn't want to leave anymore. Thankfully he supported me, and encouraged me to go. Looking back on it I realize that  the experiences I had can't be traded for anything. It made me stronger, it made us stronger. Knowing that he would come at the and of June and we would have 2 months time to spend together in Malaysia was something for us to look forward to. Nevertheless tears were shed.. uncountable tears.

And eventually things never seem to go as planned...






December 5, 2012

Child of two cultures


On a stormy 2nd December twenty-three years ago, in 1989 I was born. I came to the world on top of some layers of old newspapers on the wooden floor of our little white house. The little white house was built on a small idyllic island, somewhere in the South Chinese sea. I was born as a sister to a two-year-older brother, and as a daughter of a Dutch mother and a Malay father. Lived in paradise for four years, sand castles, fresh coconut juice, and the view of early morning sunrises over the wavy sea were normalities.
When my parent separated at age four, my mother took my brother and me back to Holland. I grew up hanging between two cultures, not really knowing where I belonged. I went back to Malaysia five times spending the holidays, and I lived there with my father when I was 17 for the time period of 10 months. Still there was not really a place called home.
Now I know home is where the love is, not a place but a feeling. But still I am looking for a place to settle. I have ranked to study abroad in Malaysia last year, and I went from February until september. Here I hoped to learn more about my background and find some more peace of mind. I want to take you with me on my journey, and report my experiences looking back on it.....