February 12, 2013

Self compassion= good grades!

This morning. still lying lazily in bed, considering how cold the day would be, I stumbled across a  TEDxTalk by Dr. Kristen Neff on Self Compassion vs Self Esteem. Being a big proponent on both, my curiosity was tickled.
Turns out that Self Esteem is not quite as attractive as it would like to be - since it depends a lot on the idea of comparison - how good am I, (compared to the others)? Am I the best? How can I be the best, if everyone else is too? And what happens to Self Esteem when I fail to succeed? Nose dive into the shallow end of the swimming pool...

On the other hand, Self Compassion "has all the benefits of Self Esteem (good mental health, high motivation level, self confidence) without the pitfalls!"

So, for all the students (of life too), how do we get some of this good stuff that will keep us highly motivated?

There are 3 elements needed to boost your own self compassion:

1. Be kind to yourself (as you would comfort a small child or your best friend)
2. Common humanity (you are not alone in your troubles - no one is perfect. Life is far from perfect)
3. Mindfulness (be aware of how you are feeling at any given moment - including the uncomfortable feelings, as when we are connected to how we feel, we can cope with whatever we are feeling much better than if we deny or bury our feelings).

To hear Dr. Neff's talk, or find out more, you can go to: www.self-compassion.org

May we all have a self compassionate day!